Domestic and Verbal Abuse

Note:
This is a message board response from my class in Crisis Intervention, Domestic Abuse.

I received an A for this response (short essay).




This is a subject that I've been studying on my own over the last year and found the chapter on it very interesting. I especially like the Learned Helplessness/Battered Woman Theory section of the book.  Over the last year I've had the opportunity to talk to/counsel several battered women and almost everyone said that after a while they began to believe what their abusers said to them was true. It's pretty rare that physical abuse is absent of verbal abuse. Learned helplessness is, at its basic principle, an adoption of false beliefs about reality. The abused initially thinks about escape and rejects the accusations against her yet gradually begins to believe the words spoken to her and then begins adapting her behavior to accept the abuse. In some cases she actually believes that she deserves the abuse because, in her mind, it's all her fault. The response is much like the famous experiment by Martin Seligman and Steven Maier.

They had initially observed helpless behavior in dogs that were classically conditioned to expect an electrical shock after hearing a tone. Later, the dogs were placed in a shuttlebox that contained two chambers separated by a low barrier. The floor was electrified on one side, and not on the other.
There's more detail to the experiment than what I'm sharing,  but eventually a set of dogs who had not been classically conditioned simply jumped over the low barrier to escape the shock. However the dogs that had been conditioned, did not even attempt to escape because the had been conditioned to "believe" that there was no escape and therefore just endured the shock.

The classic definition of learned helplessness is, "When people feel that they have no control over their situation, they may also begin to behave in a helpless manner. This inaction can lead people to overlook opportunities for relief or change."
It's also related to a belief that their locus of control is outside of themselves. They feel that external forces are in control of their destiny and that they can do little to change it, not realizing that everyone has an internal locus of control that can be activated at any time.

I dare not compare humans to dogs but the effect of environmental conditioning is undeniable.The key though to understanding the dynamics of domestic abuse, in my opinion, is that some women do not adopt this belief, or eventually come to reject the false beliefs and escape, while many believe the lies of verbal abuse spoken over them. I've read of some women becoming so hopeless and feeling so helpless, that they committed suicide; deeming that choice a better alternative to a life of degradation through physical and verbal abuse.

As a future Family Counselor and Human Services worker, it is the most agonizing thing in the world to watch someone return to an abuser, even though they've been warned, counseled, given shelter numbers and other resources that can help them escape. Frankly, it is one of the most frustrating experiences imaginable. I pray to God that I never receive a call or hear the news of one being hospitalized (or worse) that I've tried to help.