A Normal Society

I'll share something that the APA (American Psychological Association) would probably disagree with.
I propose a spiritual approach to solving some of social issues we encounter in this modern progressive age.

First a definition of sin = Sin, at its most basic is simply not loving as God loves.

None of us can love as God loves 100% of the time, hence, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Yet we can practice love, and teach others to practice love for the enrichment of society.

We have are designed to love, and we all show love to some degree, but we also fail to love all the time. Why? Because, in addition to love, we are given the power to choose; and unfortunately at times we choose to be selfish.Instead of loving others we choose what we believe to be best for us or what we believe will make us happy even if it means hurting another individual.

If we loved as God does 100% of the time life would be great, because there would be no crime against one another. There would be no stealing, no rape, no murder, no insults, no assaults, no sexual irresponsibility (i.e. adultery or other forms of self-centered, self-pleasing sexual pleasure), no verbal or physical abuse of women, children, and men. There would be no animal abuse (yes God loves animals), or no greed in any of its various forms. Corporate greed or business greed would be non-existent because the drive to be number one at all costs would be no existent. Hence, no slanders, and no frivolous law suits. In fact, there would be no courts, police departments, military with their finger on the trigger because everyone would have their neighbors best interests in mind. There would be no depression as a result of a person feeling unloved and unwanted, hence, there would be fewer suicides. There would be no divorce courts because husbands and wives would actually love and honor one another. Children would grow up in emotionally stable and supportive environments, therefore we would have a majority of children with self confidence.

There would be no religious wars period! We could still hold to our separate beliefs, and even persuade others to our views, but if we truly loved as God loves we would not kill in the name of God. We would not picket the graves of soldiers, we would not condemn to hell certain groups.

Racial hatred and crimes would be non existent.... IF we all loved as God loves 100% of the time.

Is it possible that most of our psychological and social ailments stem from our choice to love ourself more than to love others? Is it possible that the answer to what ails society is in two old proverbs: "Do to others as you would have them do to you, and love your neighbor as yourself."

Loving others is not a ticket to heaven, because salvation is strictly through faith in Christ. But learning to love self and others will sure make life healthier and more beautiful for the world in the meantime.

I'm not naive, because I don't believe everyone will love or try to love others. Some people, for various reasons, will never choose to think beyond themselves, however, that is no reason to not educate others on the virtues of loving self and others in a healthy manner. Love is the answer to the worlds social ills, how are we going to educate others in love.

Moral Issue or Social Issue

True headline:
"Man who assaulted dad, after finding him in bed with his wife, gets off easy."

It's easy to see this is a moral issue, but do you think it's a social issue? 

How did it become a social issue and how does it affect our society?

When do moral issues become social issues?

What would you do to fix this social issue without legislating morality?

That's it for this post. I just wanted to introduce some thought provoking open ended questions that would begin stimulate some conversation here or elsewhere.

Happy Thinking!

Verbal Abuse and Classical Conditioning

Paper I wrote for college:

This is a subject I have been studying on my own over the last year, and found the chapter on it very interesting. I especially like the Learned Helplessness/Battered Woman Theory section of the book.  Over the last year, I have counseled several battered women and almost everyone said that, after a while, they began to believe what their abusers said to them was true. It is rare that physical abuse is absent of verbal abuse. Learned helplessness is, at its basic principle, an adoption of false beliefs about reality. The abused initially thinks about escape and rejects the accusations against her yet gradually begins to believe the words spoken to her and then begins adapting her behavior to accept the abuse. In some cases, she actually believes that she deserves the abuse because, in her mind, it is all her fault. The response is much like the famous experiment by Martin Seligman and Steven Maier.

They had initially observed helpless behavior in dogs that were classically conditioned to expect an electrical shock after hearing a tone. Later, the dogs were placed in a shuttle box that contained two chambers separated by a low barrier. The floor being electrified on one side, and not on the other.

There is more detail to the experiment than what I'm sharing, but eventually a set of dogs who had not been classically conditioned simply jumped over the low barrier to escape the shock. However, the dogs that were conditioned did not even attempt to escape because they were conditioned to "believe" that there was no escape and therefore just endured the shock.

The classic definition of learned helplessness is, "When people feel that they have no control over their situation, they may also begin to behave in a helpless manner. This inaction can lead people to overlook opportunities for relief or change."

This is related to a belief that their locus of control is outside of themselves. They feel that external forces are in control of their destiny and that they can do little to change it, not realizing that everyone has an internal locus of control that can be activated at any time through the power of choice; along with the courage to make that decision to leave.

I dare not compare humans to dogs but the effect of environmental conditioning is undeniable. The key though to understanding the dynamics of domestic abuse, in my opinion, is that some women do not adopt this belief, or eventually come to reject the false beliefs and escape, while many believe the lies of verbal abuse spoken over them. I've read of some women becoming so hopeless and feeling so helpless, that they committed suicide; deeming that choice a better alternative to a life of degradation through physical and verbal abuse.

As a future, Family Counselor/Human Services worker, it is the most agonizing thing in the world to watch someone return to an abuser, even though they have been warned, counseled, given shelter numbers and other resources that can help them escape. Frankly, it is one of the most frustrating experiences imaginable. I pray to God that I never receive a call or hear the news of one being hospitalized (or worse) that I have tried to help.