Social Issues Today: Religion, Psychology, Counseling, Projection and Displacement

     It is amazing how well Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) works and especially how similar it is to the biblical model of change and growth. I can't tell you how many people I have met who used to believe that God hated them or was angry with them and pointed to things going wrong in their life as proof. Many think that this is a spiritual problem and some think counselors should leave that alone because it's rooted in religion and values. But truthfully these real-life scenarios are no different than viewing this as a relationship and whether it is a functional or dysfunctional relationship. 

     It's amazing that people can read and understand from scripture that God is love, he promises to never abandon them, he promises to provide for them, he promises to restore them if they lose their way, promises to heal their broken heart and all without one shred of condemnation. His parenting style is absolutely the functional Authoritative style vs the dysfunctional Authoritarian, Negligent, and Permissive styles. Yet, knowing all of this some people still have abandonment issues with God, often exhibiting an anxious attachment style to God, while having obsessive thoughts and self-talk of shame, condemnation, and rejection play in their heads concerning Gods attitude towards them.

        I have observed several common patterns in Christian normal and abnormal behavior and oddly enough some are due to a psychoanalysis principle. Some project their own self-rejection upon God and believe that he rejects them because it is too painful or creates too much anxiety to consider the reasons for their own self-rejection.  Sometimes individuals (some not all) displace their anger and frustration with God towards others. I knew a person who was angry with God for real injustices in his life, but he took that anger out on his family.  Sometimes they hold irrational beliefs about God that contradict what they know the bible says about Gods character. The belief is irrational because there is no evidence of its validity and yet it creates one or more psychological dysfunctions such as anxiety, anger, guilt, or toxic shame to name a few. They are living in a state of cognitive dissonance in their relationship with God and they often relieve that anxiety by turning to dysfunctional or addictive behaviors such as self-rejection, multiple sex partners, unprotected sex, drugs or alcohol abuse, spousal abuse, and other such behaviors.

     What's interesting is that I have known men and women who believed that their mate did not love them regardless of evidence to the contrary. Those mate's irrational beliefs and a Christians irrational belief concerning their relationship to God are eerily similar, in fact, almost identical with similar behavioral outcomes. That obviously does not apply to everyone, but there is a segment of the Christian population that holds these irrational beliefs and behaviors. That is where CBT can help people in the church (and obviously outside of the church too) because a counselor is not dealing with a religious belief but an irrational relational perception. Some examples of how CBT and Biblical CBT are similar are from Hebrews which states that the word of God is able to divide between soul and spirit. In Christian theology, it is taught that the spirit is completely perfect at the new birth, but the soul needs to go through the process of gradual transformation (theologically termed sanctification). The soul is considered the cognitive, emotional, and decision-making area of a person in Christian teaching. Christians are also instructed to renew their minds so that their behavior can be changed (Romans 12:2)  Sounds similar to CBT and Reality Therapy (RT) which states, "Psychological dysfunction results when we make bad choices" (Murdoch, 2017, p.367). What will we (present graduate students) be doing as future therapists? We will enter into a mutual collaboration with the client to change irrational thoughts and behaviors, to reduce anxiety, and enhance personal relationships ( I understand there is much more, but that is it in a nutshell,). 

     That's exactly what God/Jesus does with us if we understand his character correctly. He is called the Counselor and loves to talk with us through his word and collaborate with us to reduce anxiety and develop strong relationships. RT also states that one of the most important drives in human beings is the drive to experience love. This all sounds so similar to the desire for normal, loving relations and the desire to experience a loving, normal relationship with God; and in both types of relationships anxiety is created when an individual makes poor choices or embraces irrational beliefs about their mate/God that may have developed in their family of origin, poor caretakers, poor mentors etc. So ultimately the way CBT or even psychoanalysis relates to Christian individuals is to use them as tools to reconcile the Christian in their mind with their God who loves them far more than they can comprehend or imagine.

     Does this sound far-fetched?  Is it really possible to project onto God our own internal abnormalities, cognitive distortions and valueless worldviews? Consider these words of Adolf Hitler in a speech he gave in 1922. 

"My feelings as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and who, God's truth! was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. ...Today, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for this that He had to shed his blood upon the Cross". ...
(Adolf Hitler, speech on April 12, 1922)

     Did you know these are the words of a man who at one point in his youth contemplated becoming a priest while attending a Catholic school? Notice the projection and displacement in Hitler's statements. He projected upon the Lord and Savior his own anger and violent behavior by seeing God as a fighter against the Jewish people! Less than twenty years later he was living this irrational belief concerning God in the most dysfunctional and diabolical behavior imaginable. I doubt CBT would have helped Hitler, but the point is that some people project their own inner conflicts upon God and either become angry with him or justify their abnormal behavior as approved by God. Granted, this is an extreme example but does hold some lessons for us today.

     This has incredible and profound social implications because if a person can successfully project what is inside of them upon God and then displace their anger, self-rejection, etc etc., upon society then all forms of abnormal behavior and dangerous ideologies proceed and infect homes, workplaces, churches, schools and other institutions with the dangerous notion that it is either Gods fault or God approves of their decision to hurt, maim, or kill others. Some would read this and conclude that we must do away with religion. The problem is not with religion but in the suppression of absolute values and normal moral development by our institutions. 

     As a future counselor, I fear that most of my clientele will be restricted to the Christian community. I'm not being discriminatory, nor favoring one group over another and it's not that I don't want to help everyone but it seems as though the ACA's values parameters are so restrictive that any type of counseling that requires even a mediocre level of moral development is taboo. Whether we like it or not we live in a society of moral relativism that has, in my humble opinion, developed a society of people demanding their rights regardless of how it may harm others. Additionally, we have given the impression that everyone is good, evil does not exist, and/or that whatever is good for me is okay and whatever is good for you is okay.  That's a recipe for moral and societal chaos which seems to be what we have at this time. I am 61 years old and I can truthfully say that when I went to school or worked as a teen, we never had the level of violence, resentment, vitriol, and near lawlessness as we have today. 

     Sooner or later our institutions such as counseling profession, the ACA, schools, higher educational institutes, as well as Government institutions, will be forced to deal with this and create some type of values counseling or education rooted in law versus non-scientific ideological theories. The outcome of the past 50 -70 years of ideological moral relativism is self-evident; people have lost their way, are making poor moral choices, and are more egocentric than any time in modern history. The cognitive outcome is that it's creating psychological dysfunction (Murdoch, 2017, p.367) and moral chaos.  If I read Piaget and Kohlberg's theories about moral development correctly then we are regressing morally as a society instead of progressing. Just consider Piaget's concept of respect for authority at 12 years of age;

"Mutual respect for authority and peers allows children to value their own opinions and abilities and judge other people realistically. Children should obey rules because of mutual concern for the rights of others". (Montgomery Community College & Hodges, n.d.)

     Our society has produced people today who want to kill policeman simply because they are police. In other words, there has been a profound loss of respect for authority, because of some injustices that may be real or perceived. When any segment of society deals with real or perceived injustice by killing others they are only creating more injustice, as well as moral and social chaos. Maybe there is a values-based therapy and education system that I'm not aware of; if there is we are in desperate need of more such therapy.

References:

Montgomery Community College, & Hodges, J. (n.d.). PIAGET’S THEORY ON MORAL DEVELOPMENT [Pdf]. Retrieved from http://faculty.mc3.edu/jhodges/PIAGETmoral%20theory%20.pdf

Murdoch, N. L. (2017). Theories of Counseling and Psychotherapy: A Case Approach. Boston, MA: Pearson.

Social Issues Today: Alcohol Research Project

I'm starting a long-term project about the feasibility of reducing the alcohol content in beverages, and mandatory breathalyzers in liquor businesses, as a possible method to reduce DUI related accidents and deaths. Additionally, it may reduce alcohol-related illnesses and birth defects. I'm anticipating about a year's worth of research. I understand there are some negatives attached to this project, but how much is a human life worth?

So far I have discovered that Beer is the most consumed alcoholic beverage in America. No surprise with that statistic. However, one surprise was that some states on the East Coast and the Midwest consume an equal amount or more of hard liquor as beer. As of 2015, New Hampshire was #1 in Alcohol consumption with 4 gallons per person per year! It's impractical to think everyone in the state drinks so the actual gallons per person is probably much higher. 

The District of Columbia was #2 by the way, no surprise to me; if I had to deal with the mess in Washington it might break my 38 year run of alcohol-free living, LoL! 

Average Alcohol Content: 

What Is A Standard Drink? | National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/…/overview-al…/what-standard-drink

Social Issues Today: Female/Male Equality or Master Race?

Our textbook states that Feminist Therapy is more of a philosophy than a therapeutic construct. Steeped in feminist philosophy, one wonders if this is an attempt to heal the legitimate wounds of women or an indoctrination to create women who are so antagonistic towards men that they create more relational issues than they solve. Why does the ACA even condone such an obviously biased therapeutic technique that imposes its values (very political ones at that) upon clients?

in one lecture I listened to, the professor share than those subscribing to feminist theory believe that the DSM 5 is political and indicative of male privilege.

Today I learned that the person who conceptualized the theory of male and white privilege was an avowed feminist and that the move towards neutralizing gender identities is predominantly as a result of her paper. A paper that has absolutely no scientific empirical evidence at all!

It reminds me of Hitlers Nazi organization that singled out a certain segment of the population for second-class citizenry and destruction, and to promulgate the unscientific notion of a master race. 

My ex-wife used to read the Cosmopolitan magazine before we met and dated. She said (after we were married and she told me this) that she used to read that magazine and believed everything it said. I've never read it but after she told me this I started looking at the headlines on the cover while at the store. Almost every headline was about how to control a man, use sex to manipulate a man, how to act like a narcissistic man etc etc.

While we dated she was the model pastors wife-to-be, which is one reason I liked her. But within one week of marriage, she became the most antagonistic and argumentative human being I had ever met. She had a compulsion to have everything her way or no way. I mean, one time we argued for three hours over whether the toilet paper should be up or down. It wasn't an argument really, she spent three hours trying to get me to promise to have the toilet paper up. I refused such infantile requests, mainly because it was not a request for accommodation but an effort to practice just what she had read in that magazine.

I finally became so frustrated that I said, "We are going to wipe our ass and flush it down the commode if you prefer I can wipe my butt and put the toilet paper back on top! That ended the argument but sadly I knew in my heart that that marriage was doomed.

I only share my story because I have talked to many men who have had similar experiences and it makes me wonder how much has feminist theory destroyed relationship rather than encourage them. Have feminists become the very thing they despised and tried to free themselves from? If they are trying to teach men a lesson here's a News Flash; It's Worked! Now many men are as pissed off as feminists were 50 years ago.

White and Male Privilege? 

It does not exist, except in the mind of an angry theorist operating from a basis of logical fallacies. Here is one such fallacy:
"Because I can prove that things are bad for my gender, I have proven that things for the opposite gender, are good." 

Recent UK statistics (Office for National Statistics, National Records of Scotland, Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency, 2013) completely debunk that false argument. Men are 1.5 to 2 times more likely to be homeless (let's remember that a lot of male homelessness goes unreported), men are 21 times more likely to be killed on the job than women. One interesting statistic is concerning domestic violence. Co-habitating, single, separated, and divorced women are more likely to be abused, except in one category and that would be marriage. 3.4 percent of women are abused in marriage but 2.3 percent of males are abused in marriage; essentially equal. The point of that stat is not to justify male abuse, but that in all categories men were abused also, in fact, almost 9 percent of separated men were abused by the woman. Another point of these stats is to debunk the notion that men "have it easy" in this life and in particular to debunk the notion that being white and male is paramount to having a free ride in this life.

Another fallacy is to presume that all males are misogynists while ignoring the fact that some of their arguments blatantly promote misandry.

I offer this word of wisdom; they should learn a lesson from their own history; you can only act in a domineering way towards people or groups only so long before they fight back, and when men have had enough they generally do not lose. But winning or losing is not the issue. The issue is What Do Women Want and do men want? Both want equality, but equality by force, manipulation, dictatorial tactics, or lying never permanently endure.

I'm not advocating antagonistic behavior, I'm only saying that this is the logical conclusion because human beings (male and female) were not made to be dominated or enslaved by anyone. Sooner or later they will fight for their rights or freedom.
By the way, that marriage of mine lasted 7 years but we only lived together 1.5 years. Strange and dysfunctional would be a compliment. I wish her the best but I am eternally grateful to be out of that relationship and am pursuing my life's passion.

Finally: I have some people who follow my writings and think that I'm not a Christian or a professional because I use the word ass once in a while in my writings. All I can say is; the bubble must be a wonderful place to live. I deal with realities, not fantasies. I deal with the world the way it is, not the way one wishes it to be. Jesus and I go into the swamp that is filled excrement and human waste to rescue people, not to Ivory towers of isolation and insulation.

Reference

Office for National Statistics, National Records of Scotland, Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency. (2013). UK men. Retrieved from http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20160107061037/http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/dcp171778_254113.pdf
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Disclaimer: 
I’m not a professional counselor yet and so none of what I say or write should be construed as counseling or therapy. I’m posting as a pastor with some experience in pastoral counseling and as a Graduate Student in a professional counseling program who also has a B.S. in Psychology.

If you are having issues with your body image, or other mental health issues, I suggest seeking the services of a professional therapist.*

Social Issues Today: The Social Trickle-Down Effect of Healthy Families

Excerpt:

"But as Bowen discovered, the family remains with us wherever we go. As we shall see, unresolved emotional reactivity to our parents is the most important unfinished business of our lives" (Nichols & Schwartz, 2005).

I'm really enjoying learning about Family Systems. It makes so much sense as to how some individuals develop personality disorders or some type of behavior/cognitive dysfunction. Reminds me of the scripture that states, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he shall not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6, KJV).

Some people never reach their full potential in life because their dysfunctional family is still with them. They hear the voices of parents criticizing them for nearly everything they do or say. If their employer corrects them and they shrivel in a panic because it reminds them of their overbearing father or an abusive uncle/aunt. Conversely, some succeed because their emotional intelligence is a direct result of a healthy family environment as a child.

No need to be discouraged because Jesus can and will heal. He heals through scripture, wisdom, counselors, and time.

How does a Family Systems Counseling Theory relate to social issues? Some of the following social issues began or were cognitively formulated in the family of origin in some cases.

• Alcoholism 
• Abortion 
• Suicide 
• Drug Abuse 
• Poverty 
• Eating Disorder 
• Homelessness 
• Racial profiling 
• Welfare abuse 
• HIV/AIDS 
• Obesity 

Alcoholism and/or drug abuse may be the best example. Some families have a history of Alcohol abuse which passes down from generation to generation, also known as Intergenerational Transmission. Alcohol and Drug abuse within a family has a direct effect on family conflict, sexual satisfaction, work ethic, job security, financial status, nutrition, the mental health status of the one abusing substances as well as the family, and finally, but not exclusively, social relationships.

Understanding family dynamics, history, and conflict resolution skills can benefit society by lowering the cost of health-related issues, lowering crime, reduce DUI related deaths and injuries, reduce caseloads of social workers and the courts, increase job productivity and satisfaction, and the list goes on Ad-Infinitum. These theories are important and practical, not just for families, but because of the trickle effect a healthy family has on social norms and social stability.

Reference:

Nichols, M. P., & Schwartz, R. C. (2005). Family therapy: Concepts and methods. Princeton, NJ: Recording for the Blind & Dyslexic.

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Disclaimer:

I’m not a professional counselor yet and so none of what I say or write should be construed as counseling or therapy. I’m posting as a pastor with some experience in pastoral counseling and as a Graduate Student in a professional counseling program who also has a B.S. in Psychology.


If you are having issues with your body image, or other mental health issues, I suggest seeking the services of a professional therapist.*

Social Issues Today: The Racial Dynamics of Projection and Displacement

I know racial issues are more complex than this little article. But I think I have a valid point and observation for at least some of our racial tensions.

Aren't all human beings a person of color? I've been called a honky, cracker, I was verbally assaulted by a young black man at school years ago who called me all the above plus a white Motherf****** and kept doing it every day until I kicked his butt then he jumped up and said I did it because he was black. I'm not picking sides but just stating some truths.

Race baiting and racism is a two-way street. Back then some of my best friends were black and they saw what was happening and apologized to me, and today some of my best friends are black. One is literally like my brother and we sit and talk all the time about race in America; he even thinks the African American community is hurting itself by yelling racist or racism every time they are offended by something they perceive to be a racial slur.
White communities are getting fed up with being blamed for the sins of the 17th through 19th centuries when they had nothing to do with that monstrosity called slavery. However, they are responding in an equally erroneous manner by resorting to violence and verbal insults.

I'm a professional counseling student, and by no means an expert yet, but I have observed and do believe that half the accusations towards whites and blacks consist of two elements.

1. Projection: this is a defense mechanism that projects what is really inside of ourself onto another person. In other words, sometimes a black person or white person is a racist themselves but it creates too much anxiety to face the truth about their character flaw; consequently, they call someone else the thing that they are.
Projection is a tricky, and deceptive, defense mechanism. A person can be angry with their racism character flaw, or be angry that they were born black or white; then displace that anger onto another person.

2. Displacement: This is another defense mechanism in which we are angry with someone or something else but do not feel we have the power or skills to assertively deal with the situation. In this case we take out our anger on someone or something else. For example, we are angry with a friend and express that anger towards the dog or door instead of our friend.
There are some in the A.A. community who are still angry with the slave owners and KKK (a valid anger), but they are taking it out on either their own communities or someone that they feel represents slave owners.
Some in white communities are still angry about the race riots of the 1960's (remember Watts?) and have displaced their anger upon black communities because of what happened in the past, even though the people alive today had nothing to do with those riots.

There are other examples but until we come to grips with these two psychological defense dynamics things will stay the same.
Just a reminder, I am not picking sides and am definitely not a racist. I'm just describing my observations based on experience and basic research.

Blessings to everyone here. Jesus is ultimately the answer because if a person has a sincere encounter with him, thier heart changes and they are better able to cease projection or displacement.

Social Issues Today: Proverbs, BPD, and Marriage: A Pastors Insights

[Pro 30:21, 23 KJV] 

For three [things] the earth is disquieted, (trembles or quakes) and for four [which] it cannot bear: ...  For an odious (hateful) [woman] when she is married.

Because of previous posts, I need to stress that I am not picking on women; I am just sharing a scripture and the possible psychological implications associated with that scripture.

Is it possible that Solomon is describing a person with Borderline Personality Disorder? For some reason, more women than men are diagnosed with this disorder, although personally, I’m waiting for more research to be done before accepting that idea. Below are the symptoms of BPD according to the DSM-5, and in my humble opinion, it seems men and women equally fit these criteria. However, other diagnosis markers need to be met before an accurate assessment can be determined. For now, we will just hypothetically assume that this is a description of BPD in these scriptures and that it can apply to both genders equally.

BPD Criteria

“A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects,
and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts,
as indicated by five (or more) of the following”.

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. (Note: Do not include suicidal
or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.)
2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.)
5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of
temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

Hate

Our first question to ask is why this man or woman is hateful to begin with. Is it a true personality disorder, a neurological disorder, the results of abusive trauma in the home? Was the abuse so severe that it activated any genetic predisposition to BPD?

What causes a person to both hate and be hated? As Christians, the obvious answer is sin, but we need to ask exactly what is sin, instead of leaving a person shamed and condemned with no hope of redemption or restoration. A brief summary of sin is as follows; sin is not just breaking the law of God because sin was in the world before the law. Sin presents itself as a spiritual/personality/character trait that has been passed on to humanity through Adam and Eve.

The Main Traits of Sin

1. A pervasive, sometimes subtle, drive to control one’s life apart from Gods presence and Spirit.
2. A desire and attempt to determine what is moral, aesthetically, corporately, martially, interpersonally, and intrapersonal, good and evil or right and wrong.
3. A desire and attempt to experience and determine what is good and bad for the self through experimentation of personal desires, regardless of the harm it may present to oneself or others.
4. A personal drive and attempt to crave what belongs to another person i.e. a disrespect and violation of the property rights of other people.
5. An abnormal desire for power in order to control others politically, relationally, economically, psychologically, and spiritually for personal gain or fame.
As our Canadian friends would say, Pretty heavy stuff, eh? In short, all of these traits are an expression of the very thing that resulted in Satan's expulsion from heaven, and the very thing that he tempted Adam and Eve with through the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Genetics Altered

The consequence of Adam and Eve’s transgression was to alter the genetic code of humanity. Remember, Adam and Eve were created in the image and likeness of God consequently; there was no genetic corruption in them because they were created in God’s image and likeness. However, after they sinned, Adam and Eve had children and the scripture states that these children were born in the image of Adam and Eve, not in the image of God.

[Gen 5:1, 3 KJV] 1 This [is] the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; ... 3 And Adam lived a hundred and thirty years, and begat [a son] in his own likeness, after his image; and called his name Seth.

By the time we get to Genesis 6 (a mere 9 or 10 generations) the human race had degenerated from dwelling in peace and harmony with one another, and dwelling in God’s presence; to such a fallen condition that God was forced to save humanity through the flood; lest humanity destroy itself.

[Gen 6:12 KJV] But the earth was corrupted before God, and the earth was filled with iniquity.
13 And the Lord God saw the earth, and it was corrupted; because all flesh had corrupted its way upon the earth. 14 And the Lord God said to Noah, A period of all men is come before me; because the earth has been filled with iniquity by them, and, behold, I destroy them and the earth.

Evolutionary theory offers a different view as to why humanity has genetic aberrations and personality disorders, and I’ve written about that in the past. Nevertheless, whichever model one believes, the results are the same; humanity has both good and bad genetics and traits that may lead to maladaptive behaviors and personality disorders. It should be noted and stressed, just because a person is genetically predisposed to a personality disorder does not mean they are predestined to develop one; nor if they do develop one are the predestined to remain in that state. In fact, BPD symptoms often subside as one ages.

After reading the DSM criteria, let’s assume that a diagnosis of BPD has been met, we’ll cover just three here; (note: five of the criteria must be met before a positive diagnosis can effects). We can then see why the earth would shake, tremble, and be restless when someone with BPD decides to marry.
Abnormal or Intense Fear of Abandonment
Take number one, if a person is constantly fearful of abandonment (which is related to attachment theory), they will either display a distrust of their mate or display a dependent/clinging effect that will actually drive their mate away. This results in a self-fulfilling prophecy that further increases abandonment anxiety.

Unstable Sense of Self

Number three criteria of BPD, “Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self”. If you’ve ever known someone with an unstable self-image or sense of self, they often exhibit depression and/or suicidal ideations. When the scripture states that the earth trembles when a hateful woman (or man) marries, it does not specifically state that the person hates themselves yet it does not say they do not either. Human personality traits haven’t changed all that much over the years, as the scripture states,

Ecc 1:9 What has been is what will be, and what has been done will be done again. There is nothing new under the sun.
An unstable person often projects their own self-hatred upon others and imagines that they are being hated by others; sometimes they imagine God hates them also, even though He loves them dearly. The earth trembles, and for the purposes of relational psychology, we’ll interpret earth as the environment. The environment that a hateful person enters trembles because of the instability and unpredictability that accompanies their BPD.

This writing is not intended to stigmatize anyone, it is meant to create understanding and compassion because all of us have some type of issue we are dealing with because of Adam and Eves transgression. Every human being is flawed and every human being deserves compassion and grace. Having said that we have to have wisdom and at times protect the ill person as well as society through medication and/or therapy.

Inappropriate Anger

That leads us to the third criteria we are dealing with:
8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of
temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
This is trait applies to both genders, yet for the sake of the scriptural reference, we’ll assume this is talking about a hateful woman; however, both genders will be covered. I remember a marriage conference that was held at my former church, Sweetwater Church of the Valley, in Arizona. The guest speaker, Dr. Dean Berger, was a well-known marriage counselor in California (if memory serves me right). Dr. Berger spent one week doing lectures and workshops, as well as counseling several married couples in the church over the course of one week. I believe he counseled 10 marriages and to the best of my knowledge saved all 10 marriages. I’m not sure if they stayed together (I heard they all remained married) nevertheless, he did avert disasters in these marriages.

A Man’s Anger

During one of the lectures, he spoke about two character traits of men and women that often led to the destruction of their marriages. With men, the traits were anger and negativity and with women, nagging and perfectionism were subtle expressions of anger. He spoke of how a man’s anger was particularly devastating to women because God designed women to find much of their identity in men. That is neither a chauvinist statement nor a statement that allows men to control women. He explained that it should lead men to become gentler in dealing with their wives because he had known some women that were literally driven crazy because of their husband’s verbal abuse. I’ve counseled, in a pastoral position, a few women in abusive relationships and have listened to hundreds of others. Everyone stated that they had lost their sense of self because of their verbally abusive husband or boyfriend. They didn’t know who they were anymore because as the scripture states, God is the head of man, and man is the head of woman. That simply means that men derive much of their identity from God as a father figure or another man representing a God as a father figure. This then filters through the man to the woman. In our modern western world, we have a hard time relating to that concept, but for first century peoples, it was an acceptable and understandable concept.

A Woman’s Anger

A woman’s expression of anger also has a devastating effect on the man but in a different way. Dr. Berger related that when a woman constantly finds fault with a man via nagging or perfectionism, it can drive him to depression, suicidal ideations, or choosing destructive behaviors such as drinking, or sexually dangerous choices. He chooses these things in order to escape in the hopes of hearing someone tell him what is good about him. Men, said Dr. Berger, have extremely fragile egos that are often hidden through a persona of toughness. Dealing with competitiveness, demands, and accusation in the work world all day, the last thing a man wants is to come home to more demands, or nagging.
Self-hatred or hatefulness towards others often leads to unstable interpersonal conflicts.

[Proverbs 10:12 KJV] Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

What are we to conclude? Do we prevent people with BPD from getting married? Doesn’t everyone deserve to have a relationship with a significant other? The church I attended in Dubuque, Iowa had a great pastor who was committed to the psychological well being of the congregation. He researched a program called Celebrate Recovery which is a Christian themed recovery group that deals with everything from depression to sex/alcohol/drug addictions and from anger to a lack of assertiveness.

There was one woman, whom I had met and talked to in the hallway, that he did not know how to help her. I wasn’t a member of the pastoral staff there, and I wasn’t allowed to make a license at that time. He and I were talking about it before I moved back to Arizona, and my heart broke for both he and her. She needed help and he wanted to help but didn’t know how. She exhibited behaviors that seemed abnormal, with symptoms of OCD or PTSD and some other personality disorder. I think I suggested he send her to a local agency and work with them in order to help her. What would you do with her? Should she not be married?

I knew another couple in the Midwest who absolutely had personality disorders. He was Schizophrenic and she had BPD; they both admitted to it and were in therapy and on medication. If ever there was a mismatch for marriage their’s was the mismatch. Yet, they did get married and had an unusual way to deal with conflict that worked for them. The both lived in the same apartment complex and when they married they simply kept both apartments. They lived in hers most of the time but when they had a heated argument he would go back to his apartment and stay there till they both cooled off!! When I learned of this my sense of humor could not help but think that this may catch on in the United States and reduce the divorce rate!

Compassion

We are not going to avoid personality disorders in church or outside of the church because the effects of Adam and Eves transgression are with us until Jesus returns. I believe a multidimensional approach is the best approach to help those with disorders. First and foremost everyone is loved of our Father in Heaven and deserves to be given the love of God to the best of our abilities. While it is difficult to deal with BPD it is not impossible. The scripture above stated that Hatred stirreth up strife but love covers a multitude of sin. A person with BPD, or any other disorder, may cause turmoil at times yet need love as much or more than anyone else. It is the love and understanding of God that is going to help in the long run. Love is the first form of therapy.

Another dimension of therapy is to make sure they are in an environment that is conducive to healing as much as possible. Sometimes BPD is caused by childhood abuse or trauma, therefore, an environment of peace and safety is essential in the healing process. This fits in well with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Professional Therapy, preferably faith based therapy, is essential for continued healing and growth and when necessary medication. Church attendance, in which the presence and love of God are preeminent, will give a person a sense of belonging and community.

Love, love, love is the answer for the Christian therapist/pastor in helping someone with BPD. It’s challenging, but not impossible. Love covers a multitude of sin; the idea in the old covenant for the word cover is the same as when a cloud covered Mount Sinai. The mountain was still there, and no one pretended that it ceased to exist. The new reality was this: All that could be seen was the cloud. When the scripture states that love covers the main emphasis is on the love of God covering the person. Just as the cloud on Mount Sinai changed Moses appearance, so the love of God towards a hateful person changes humanity. This love is practical, at times tough, often gentle, and always present.

Dan Dickerson © November 1, 2016

Social Issues Today: The Destructive Effects of Toxic Shame

So much about this subject I want to share, but will have to wait till later. Briefly, from a biblical perspective, shame is the very first psychological neurosis to present after the sin of Adam and Eve.

It is almost always connected with a negative moral judgment upon the self and is also connected to a fear of judgment from God or others in positions of authority. In other words, The self, I, me, carnal mind etc, is judging himself as morally deficient, defective, unworthy, and at times unredeemable. Because a person judges themselves as unworthy they will project those thoughts and feelings and wrongly assume that others think and feel the same way about them. Their judgment of the self may have begun in childhood while developing in an environment of criticism, verbal and psychological abuse.

In some cases, as with Adam and Eve, it is connected with our sexuality or who we are as a sexual being. This is not a shame that is connected with the act of sex but with who we are as a sexual being. The underlying question/judgment is “Am I good enough for someone else”? I am leaning toward a hypothesis that this quest for an affirmative answer to this question is the driving force behind sexual addictions. Sadly for some, no amount of reassurance from their mate is sufficient to dispel the sense of unworthiness and inadequacy as a sexual being. Until their Toxic shame is met by Gods love and healed, they will rarely be content.

Adam and Eve felt no shame before their fall, but immediately after their choice to be independent from God, they knew they were naked and hid themselves in shame. There was no difference in their physical appearance from the day before when they felt no shame. What caused their psychological shift?

Having the knowledge of good and evil now made them moral judges of who they were as humans and sexual beings. They judged themselves defective and unworthy. Gods Love for them had not changed, but their perception of Gods love for them changed and they projected onto the Lord the shame they felt in themselves. In other words, they believed that God was feeling the same shame towards them as they felt about themselves.

That is what shame does at it's essence, it creates a fear of judgment from others, creates a harsh self judgment with condemnation, and ultimately causes a person to hide their personality and gifts from other people, and from God, for fear of judgment.
A shame based ministry will cause leaders to exalt themselves to the position of moral judges and lead them to feel ashamed of a congregants behavior and then shame that congregant into submission or obedience.

To say shame is toxic and destructive is quite an understatement.

It will also cause one to deflect responsibility and blame another person, or God, for personal shortcomings. Those are just some highlights from a biblical perspective, perhaps I'll share more later.

(Refer to Gen. 2:23 through 3:13, ERV)

Social Issues Today: Toxic Friendships

Be kind to yourself. Be your own best friend because some days you won't be able to find a friend. Do not become entangled in toxic friendships: as much as is practically possible. Be kind to toxic people but do not get entangled in their love or affection. God has already valued you and given you dignity, people are in your life to validate what God has already given you, if they are not, then be kind and stay away till they discover the love of God for themselves.

Social Issues Today: Terrorism; A Psychological or Moral Issue?

This morning I've been studying about the Psychology of Terrorism and based on 2004-2009 research, I think the psychologists I read came to the wrong conclusions. They approached the reasons for terrorism from mainly a sociological issue, which may have led to the infamous conclusion by government that terrorists were just disenfranchised and needed a job.

I think the issue is one based in faulty moral development in an environment of ideological and religious isolationism. It is the old "us versus them" "evil versus good" belief. In a terrorists mind they are good and the rest are evil. It's no different than when president Bush named some states an Axis of Evil.

Moral development and choices have a direct impact on psychological functioning. If one truly believes their cause is just and holy; if they believe they are serving God or a higher moral purpose, then murder is acceptable, suicide i.e. self-martyrdom is the pathway to eternal life.

The question of the hour is which moral ideology is correct and which will we ultimately subscribe to for daily living.

The three main religions are similar yet vastly different in moral development and views on the after life. The other major moral ideology is secularism or Humanism, which claims to be amoral or morally neutral, (another way of saying moral subjectiveity) yet betrays that claim by choosing who should and should not live in cases of abortion. Additionaly,they make moral choices all the time in terms of how we should live our lives in relationship to fellow human beings.

Don't misunderstand this writing, this is not about the ten commandments. There have been millions through out history who have subscribed to the ten commandments yet never obey. Israel is a prime example and it led to their captivity to Babylon. This is about absolute love verse absolute hate. It's about absolute value for human life or absolute disdain for human life. The moral ideology we choose we determine our attitudes and behaviors toward human beings including the unborn, infants, elderly and those of other beliefs.

I hear the voice of Elijah, calling to this generation saying, "Choose you this day whom you will serve."
I also hear the voice of Jesus saying, "By this shall all men know that the I have been sent by God. If you have love one for another."

Social Issues Today: Connection Between Poor Moral Development and Poor Mental Health

This is a topic that will require much research over the coming years.

I've been thinking about this quite a bit over the last year that there seems to be some type of connection; almost like a dual diagnosis.

I'm not saying all mental illness is due to immorality, just as I would never say all mental illness is due to alcohol or drugs. However, just as there can be a dual diagnosis in mental health with alcohol abuse it seems plausible that there can be dual diagnosis with mental health and a persons moral status.

Not sure if the mental illness could contribute to immoral behavior or the moral behavior contribute to the mental illness, but just from my observations and light research their does appear to be a connection in some cases.
Why do we excuse one man for beheading his mother as mentally incompetent while a religious sect can commit the same behavior and we excuse it as part of their religion with its moral code of behavior? The person who is abusive and beats his wife or children, does he do that because his mental illness drives him to make poor moral choices or does his moral choice drive him to be abusive? What about the narcissist who manipulates others for self advancement or gain? Is her behavior motivated by poor moral foundation or by mental illness which cause poor moral choices.

According to Anita L. Allen-Castellitto, (Castellitto & Silverman, 2005) those who suffer with mental illness are just as capable of moral choices as those who do not suffer from mental illness. Maybe this is a case of which came first the chicken or the egg, but if the Holy Spirit impressed that upon my mind as soon as I woke up, I need to pursue some biblical and psychological research on the subject.

Pro 6:17 eyes that show pride, tongues that tell lies, hands that kill innocent people,
Pro 6:18 hearts that plan evil things to do, feet that run to do evil,
Pro 6:19 witnesses in court who tell lies, and anyone who causes family members to fight.

These behaviors are both internal (thoughts, feelings, executive functioning) and external (speaking, killing with hands, feet running speaks of acting out what one is thinking or planning, speaking lies, and instigating arguments and family breakups).

These behaviors and thoughts of morality and mental processes may be related to personal constructs of the world around them, leading to mental illness. The question is which comes first?

Heb 4:12 What God has said isn't only alive and active! It is sharper than any double-edged sword. His word can cut through our spirits and souls and through our joints and marrow, until it discovers the desires and thoughts of our hearts.

Is it a project worth pursuing?

WOUNDED PARENTS

Wounded parents are adults who are raising children yet have never fully dealt with their own childhood traumas and wounds. Consequently they often pass their wounds on to their children. They don't do it intentionally, but as Jesus said, whatever is of an abundance on the heart the mouth speaks. From a psychological point of view, whatever is of an abundance on the heart is displayed through either functional or dysfunctional behaviors.

These are usually not bad parents but simply wounded parents that need inner healing, or in biblical terms, healing of the heart. Sadly, they are hesitant to get professional help because of the stigma placed upon those who are brave enough, and smart enough, to seek out a counselor.

Father give these wounded parents the courage to break the cycle of wounding in their families. Let their love for their children be stronger than protecting their reputation. Pour out your Spirit of love upon them so that their fears are removed and their healing can begin.

Social Issues Today: Body Image and the Christian

Insecurities about our body-image often mask the real issue common to male and female, and prevalent the whole human race since the fall of Adam. The real issue is shame of our appearance, body image, or as scripture says, "Adam and Eve knew they were naked and they were ashamed".

Women seem to be more prone to being ashamed of their body image than men but it does affect both sexes.

I personally believe the answer to developing a healthy body image are:
1) believing that God loves us just as we are and that's all that really matters and 2) Examining and renewing our hearts/minds for the elements of shame that drive us to hide our true selves from other people.

That's easier said than done because it can take months or years to transform our mind into being comfortable with who we are in our body image and our sexual identity (sexual identity has nothing to do with activity, but how we see ourself as a man or woman). The internal examination might go something like this for a man or woman.

Am I comfortable with myself as a woman?

Do I accept myself as a man?

Am I rejecting myself as a man or woman? If so, why?

Does God love me as a man (if youre a man) or a woman (if you're a woman)? If he does, then why do I not agree with him and love myself as God loves me?

If I am standing before God naked and flawed, is he ashamed of me or does he love me in my nakedness with flaws? (Heb. 4:13)

I'm doing a study on shame and discovered that when Adam and Eve knew they were naked it meant that they knew that the other one knew that they were naked; and that's what made them feel ashamed. This consciousness of what others think of us is something that's carried over into today and throughout all history. Human beings are self conscious about what we think others are thinking about us; we believe others can see our nakedness and flaws even if they can't and it makes us ashamed of who we are.

In other words, we feel defective and believe that We are flawed.
Change for a Christian is a process of renewing our mind and agreeing with God's love for us flaws and all!

God came to Adam and Eve to redeem them because he loved them; He did not even mention their nakedness to them, however, they mentioned their nakedness to him because they feared exposure to one another and to God.

He approaches us in a similar manner in our garden, wherever that Garden may be. God is not ashamed of our nakedness but rather he calls us to himself, embraces us, cleanses us by his blood, covers our shame with His mercy and righteousness, and accepts us as we are and begins the process of restoring us from the toxic shame that was passed on to us from Adam and Eve.

Just food for thought

(Scripture references: Gen.2&3; Hebrews 4:13; 2 Corinthians 3:18)
--------------------

Disclaimer: 
I’m not a professional counselor yet and so none of what I say or write should be construed as counseling or therapy. I’m posting as a pastor with some experience in pastoral counseling and as a Graduate Student in a professional counseling program who also has a B.S. in Psychology.

If you are having issues with your body image, or other mental health issues, I suggest seeking the services of a professional therapist.*

You are Empowered to Receive Wealth/What is Wealth?

It is the Lord that gives you the power to get wealth. (Duet. 8:18)

Been thinking about this a lot lately and realize that wealth is far more than money. It's about forward progress, health, spiritual growth, funds to meet your needs, it's all about economic, political, spiritual, and emotional freedom.

In other words, Gods idea of wealth encompasses our whole life and being.

The other thing I'm learning is that power is something internal. In social services, we talk about "empowering" others to manage their own lives or something similar to that concept. We don't give them a bottle of power to take home and drink but teach them that the power to manage their lives is within them.

Some of the issues that prevent a person from having power over their own destiny are addictions, toxic shame, and a faulty belief system in who they are and what they are capable of doing.

God empowers individuals to receive wealth by healing the senses of unworthiness or shame that cause them to push away his blessing. They are never quite "good enough". Yet Ephesians states that we are blessed with all blessings in Christ.

If you take what I'm writing and try to obtain "money" without being healed of shame and faulty beliefs you will lose your money because you will still have that feeling of not being worthy. Some people can't even quit some addictive sins or behaviors because they have internalized shame and feel they don't deserve a life of freedom.

God is empowering you to get the full spectrum of wealth. He is internalizing his grace, mercy, acceptance, forgiveness, and blessing in your life.

First Amendment Rights and the Counselor

I'm learning quite a bit about the origins of the ACA and the philosophical leanings towards Humanism that drives its concept of ethics. This explains why they threw a temper tantrum concerning Tennessee House Bill 1840, a bill that is in full compliance with their ethics code yet protects counselors of faith from law-suits from the LGBT community for referring them to another counselor.

The ACA threw a fit, said the law violated its ethics (not true) and pulled their annual conference from Nashville and moved it to San Franciso. What the ACA has effectively done with its values-based behavior is to create a religious litmus test for all counselors of faith; whether they be Christian, Islam, or Judaic counselors.

The ACA code of ethics states that counselors act to avoid imposing their values towards a client.

A.4. Avoiding Harm and
Imposing Values
A.4.a. Avoiding Harm
Counselors act to avoid harming their
clients, trainees, and research participants
and to minimize or to remedy
unavoidable or unanticipated harm.
imposing—their own values, attitudes,
beliefs, and behaviors. Counselors
respect the diversity of clients, trainees,
and research participants and
seek training in areas in which they
are at risk of imposing their values
onto clients, especially when the
counselor’s values are inconsistent
with the client’s goals or are discriminatory
in nature.

A.11.b. Values Within
Termination and Referral

Counselors refrain from referring prospective
and current clients based solely
on the counselor’s personally held values,
attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.
Counselors respect the diversity of
clients and seek training in areas in
which they are at risk of imposing their
values onto clients, especially when the
counselor’s values are inconsistent with
the client’s goals or are discriminatory
in nature.

The key word here is refrain . A counselor will not ask about clients sexual preference during intake because that is definitely discriminatory. However, the moment a client begins delving into areas outside the counselor's competence then the counselor is required to refer that client to someone more competent or trained. Most faith-based counselors do not have the competence to help a client in certain areas of behavior. In fact, trying to help a client outside of a counselors competency is unethical and can lead to loss of licensure. I see the Tennessee HB 1840 as solving this ethical dilemma that every counselor, regardless of faith, will face at one time or another. How can a Humanistic Atheist Counselor possibly and unethically provide competent services to a Christan, Muslim, or Jew, when they begin talking about their relationship with God and how to resolve toxic anxiety, guilt, or depression and still maintain their faith in God?

It just ain't gonna happen!

I have personally been to Humanistic counselors in the past and they suggested that I do things that were so contrary to my worldview and values that it would have created Cognitive Dissonance in my life. This whole notion of neutrality is nonsense because no one is 100% neutral and is precisely why the ACA code of ethics makes provision for the counselors own humanness in the counseling relationship and suggests a referral for everything except a values conflict. Why would the ACA exclude a values conflict as a reason for referring a client? While I cannot state conclusively, the logical outcome is that they wish everyone to be neutral so as not to offend anyone. In my 35 years of ministry and 5-10 years of private pastoral counseling, I have never seen a situation in which someone was not offended at some point itn time. The ACA seems to be out of touch with reality and wishes to impose an unrelaistic and outdated worldview and values system of humanistic atheism upon the world of counseling.

The logical solution would be to refer that client to another counselor trained in LGBT related matters. House Bill 1840 includes the ACA's own guidelines to refer to another counselor who is qualified. But that was not good enough for the ACA, they insist that the law is discriminatory and they specifically mentioned the LGBT community as the potential victim of the Bill. However, one of the ACA's original division was for Humanistic Counseling which is unquestionably tied to Humanist Philosophy that rejects the existence of the supernatural and promotes that salvation or help in this life cannot come from any source other than the man himself.

You can see where this is heading. By insisting that all counselors follow the ACA philosophy of ethics which is motivated by humanist philosophy, they are effectively discriminating against the First Amendment Rights of counselors of faith. The ACA is telling anyone of any faith to park their moral and ethical values at the door of THEIR PRIVATE business.

Why is this so important to a Christian Counselor who is a licensed professional counselor? Because the ACA has lobbied successfully for years to persuade all 50 states that their "code of ethics" is the standard for all counselors to practice by and to receive licensure by the States. As of this day, and to the best of my current knowledge, all 50 states LPC Examination is in compliance with the ACA standards. That is far too much power for on organization to have and to impose their values upon all counselors who come for an enormous diversity of cultural, religious, and philosophical backgrounds. This influence can directly affect the career and economic well being of competent and caring counselors who are truly called to help society.

I'm sure this discussion is far from over because this will be a fight much like the fight private businesses, with christian owners, had with the government about whether they should be foced to give up their First Amendment Rights and be forced to provide birth control, and/or abortion as part of Obamacares mandates. I predict that this will eventually end up in the Supreme Court and the ACA will eat crow.
For one, by their own admission, the ACA code of ethics cannot be forced upon anyone but are only guidelines to follow. Yet their behavior over the Tennessee HB 1840 exposed their own philosophical intention to force all counselors and states to abide by their values system, even when laws are created that abide by the ACA's own code of ethics. Consequently, the ACA made this an issue of values and First Amendment Rights in the workplace instead of the code of ethics.

Watch for a Supreme Court decision within the next 5 to 10 years on this subject, at least that's my prediction.

The Most Dangerous Books to Humanity

The Kinsey report was ranked as one of the top ten most harmful books of the19th & 20th centuries!

1) Communist Manifesto - 100 million dead

2) Hitler's "Mein Kampf - the Holocaust and about 60 million lives.

3) The quotations of Chairman Mao - tens of millions of deaths in China.

4) The Kinsey Reports - millions upon millions of ruined lives and murdered children; reduced sentences for child molesters, not to mention the increase in STD's and perhaps responsible as the catalyst for introducing AIDS into STD category.

The 4th most dangerous book in 200 years and the worst in American History in 200 years! Thank God, over the last twenty years scientists seem to have started a movement to refute and retract all of his research which could never be done today because of strict ethical standards.

Morality and Mental Illness

While visiting a Baptist church this summer, one of the deacons asked what I did for a living. I told him I had just graduated with a Bachelors in Psychology and was getting ready to start my Masters in Professional Counseling. He said that he believed all mental illness was the result of unconfessed sin.

I didn't say anything, but in my mind, I was thinking, "Well buddy you just committed a sin by judging wrongly, so you must have a mental illness!" Thank God I kept my sarcasm in check that time.

However, after 6 months of keeping up with news stories and especially the political back-stabbing, character assassination attempts, and the sexual habits of people in power, I'm beginning to wonder if he has a valid point in at least some cases of mental illness.

I've been thinking about whether there is a correlation to SOME, not all, mental illnesses and a warped sense of morality. I'm not advocating strict adherence to the 10 commandments, which no one has ever completely kept, but the higher morality of love towards self and neighbor.

But that raises the question as to whether absolute morality or relative morality is the more socially beneficial form of morality because love for self and others can only exist within the framework of a moral foundation.

Moral absolutes hold that we are accountable to a God of love for the way we treat one another and ourselves. Moral relativism is not accountable to anyone except the individual and their belief concerning morality. Love that is modeled by a self-sacrificing being who has the welfare of others in mind, and whose love is absolutely perfect in an imperfect society seems preferable over a love that fits the situation and possibly self-centered with ulterior motives.

Here is why there may be a correlation between SOME mental illnesses and morality. When we have done something wrong towards other people, it may create anxiety from cognitive dissonance, and in most cases creates guilt that can become toxic and possibly lead to anxiety and depression. These conditions can snowball into a break in functional communication.

In most cases of moral relativism, the individual is placed above society needs which may explain why we have such political and cultural turmoil in America, and in Western cultures in general.

Do Moral Values Benefit or Harm Clients and Society?

This whole issue of values keeps coming up again and again in counseling classes. I see it more clearly than ever, American counseling and psychology is geared towards imposing, and even subtly converting, a person's values. We have a society that has shifted from asking the question, "how does my behavior affect society and family" to "I am my own person and whatever is right for me is what is right".

It reminds me of the scripture of Judges in which every man did that which was right in their own eyes.(Judges 21:25, KJV)

What this tells me is that moral relativism is nothing new, but an old morality dressed in the new clothing of humanism.
After years of studying scripture, now coupled with years of studying philosophy and the science of psychology, I am convinced that moral relativism leads to either total anarchy or social chaos as evidenced by our current explosion of lawlessness even at the state level with state lawmakers defying the federal and constitutional laws.

I'm also not sure how I, as a Christian, am going to fit within the environment of humanistic, Rogerian counseling. The ACA has imposed its values upon all counselors by lobbying to have its philosophy of counseling adopted as the only ethics role model for licensure. By doing so it has created an extreme version of individualistic society that does not consider how their behaviors and choices impact society at large. It seems that every group wants their rights (a subtle way of imposing their values).

Is it possible that this drift towards moral relativism is what is creating the explosion of serial killers, mass murders, sexual identity confusion, child abuse, domestic violence, and perhaps some forms of mental illness or maladaptive behaviors such as anxiety, depression, bullying, road rage, narcissistic personality disorder, anti-social personality disorder, etc, etc.?
Forcing morality upon a person rarely works but ignoring moral values in counseling, or for that matter any relationship, is guaranteed to create conflict, confusion, and eroding of intimate relationships.

Even in the circle of psychological knowledge, there is the theory of moral development by Lawrence Kohlberg and Yale University has developed an experiment that proves that babies as young as three months old have a sense of innate moral values. I have to ask myself, "What is the goal of the APA and ACA in imposing humanist moral relativism upon society while rejecting all other forms of moral values, especially within the counseling relationship.

I have heard at least 10 times that all of their ideas are based on empirical evidence, and yet they never give reference to one research project that validates their claims. I have sincerely searched for research projects concerning this hypothesis and have yet to find one. Counseling students are required to provide a minimum of 3 peer-reviewed empirical data to support our proposals or conclusions in our papers. It is drilled into the fabric of our being to question any claims that do not have corroborating empirical evidence and even then we are instructed to scrutinize the results of research projects. It's how we improve the science and practice of psychology and counseling. Where are the empirical data concerning harm or benefit to clients concerning values?

My questions concerning sharing values with clients are:
1) What research has been done to show a correlation between a counselor sharing values and a client being harmed?

2) What research has been done to show a correlation between a counselor sharing values and the client receiving a benefit? (After all, the first tenet of the ACA is client welfare). Can the ACA prove that moral values shared in counseling actually harm clients?

3) If a client was harmed or benefited from shared values, what was the determining factor of the harm or benefit? Was it the clients environmental conditioning, the counselor's method of sharing, the client's perception of reality, the counselors lack of being empathically present, the counselor's kindness that helped, the client's acceptance of moral development benefitting their relationships?

In my experience and observations, when morality is forced upon a person it is angrily rejected and rightfully so because it is the kindness of God that leads a person to positive outcomes in thinking and behavior. However, when morality is shared with kindness, empathy, sincerity, and gentleness (All Rogerian interventions) then the client is allowed to choose for themselves a lifestyle change that benefits them. (This is known as self-actualization in psychology and in scripture, it is referred to choosing whom we will serve).

Moral relativism leads to self-centered and individualistic outcomes. Moral reality or development leads to a collectivist lifestyle that benefits the individual and society which includes the family system.