Healing for Relationship Trauma

When you try to avoid the pain it creates greater pain. I’m a human being, having a human experience in front of the world.” (Jennifer Aniston)

What we are really trying to avoid is the feeling of shame and the thought that we are not valued by others. Of course, our value is eternal in Christ but the trauma of relational failure tempts us to believe we have no value. If you're a human being you've experienced at least one relational trauma in your lifetime.

Relational trauma can have a profound impact on an individual's life. It can result from abusive behavior occurring between intimate partners and produce long-lasting psychological and physical effects. The trauma can stem from emotional, physical, or sexual abuse endured during the relationship.

Relational trauma can lead to avoidance behaviors that prevent individuals from engaging in activities that could help them achieve their goals. Avoidance is a common coping mechanism for dealing with cognitive dissonance, which is the mental discomfort that arises from holding contradictory beliefs or attitudes. Some ways to avoid or reduce cognitive dissonance are denying, rejecting, or avoiding information that contradicts pre-existing ideas.

In other words, the two contradictory beliefs that occur from relational trauma are; 1. I have worth 2. I do not have value. God designed our brain to resolve this conflict by choosing number one; we have value and worth, but often a person may choose number two, but I do not have value or worth. We are driven to choose one or the other.

Relational trauma can have a negative impact on our sense of worth and value as human beings. It can lead to feelings of toxic guilt and shame that make a person feel isolated from or detached from others. Establishing meaningful relationships may prove complicated, as these emotions may be accompanied by hopelessness, stress, anger, or fear.

Recovering from relational trauma can be challenging but it is possible to heal. Faith in Christ and the love of God are the main source of healing but therapy and self-care can help individuals manage their symptoms and develop coping strategies. Some self-care strategies might include eating regularly and getting enough good sleep to enhance mood, and finding healthy ways to unwind such as exercise or Christian/Biblical meditation.

One scripture to meditate on would be Psalm 94:19 (CEV)
"And when I was burdened with worries, you comforted me and made me feel secure."

In conclusion, relational trauma can have a significant impact on an individual’s life. It can lead to avoidance behaviors and cognitive dissonance that prevent individuals from achieving their goals. However, with the right treatment and support, individuals can overcome these challenges and move forward.

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References:
Relationship Trauma: Signs, Causes, How to Heal
https://www.verywellhealth.com/relationship-trauma-5211576
Loving a Trauma Survivor: Trauma’s Impact on Relationships
https://brickelandassociates.com/trauma-survivor.../
Relational Trauma: Mental Health Effects, Examples, and Healing
https://psychcentral.com/ptsd/what-is-relational-trauma
Treating Complex Relational Trauma
https://cptsdfoundation.org/.../treating-complex.../
How To Reduce Cognitive Dissonance And Why You Must
https://happyproject.in/how-to-reduce-cognitive-disso