Finding Meaning, Purpose, and Value

 

"An existential crisis is a moment at which an individual question if their life has meaning, purpose, or value"  (Richard K. James, Crisis intervention strategies, 2012).

Viktor Frankl called this frustration the will-to-meaning.  In other words, failing to find meaning and a sense of responsibility in this life.  Thinking about my addictions class at school, and some recovery meetings I've been to, this seems to be a common thread in the life of the person suffering from the condition of addiction.

This sense of meaningless also seems to stem from a deep sense of shame and feeling of worthlessness.  After all, if we have been made to feel defective and we believed that lie, then we conclude that our life has little to no meaning.

If there is one major positive outcome from giving our life to Jesus, it is that we begin to find meaning to life and meaning to our existence.  We begin to discover our true character and calling in life.  That's not to say that finding meaning in suffering causes all suffering and pain to end.  However, it does mean that even while dealing with painful situations that may trigger feelings of shame, we can still know that we have value and know that we have a destiny i.e. we have meaning to life regardless of present and future triggers or temptations.

Jesus clearly said that in this world we would have trouble, but he also said that we can be positive in the face of trouble because he overcame trouble.  Not only that, but he promises to make us over-comers of our trouble.  What this means is that trouble i.e. suffering, has at least one meaning and purpose and that it is to present us with an opportunity to build self-confidence, build our faith up in Christ, and make us more aware of our abilities.  In short, troubles give meaning our existence, and that is to learn to become an over-comer through our sufferings.  (Romans 8:28; 2 Corinthians 1:4 &6; 4:7-13, 17)

Being an over-comer can be as simple as organizing our room or as difficult as learning new behaviors and thought patterns as we recover from behaviors such as gambling, compulsive helping, toxic anger, sexual irresponsibility, excessive spending, or over-eating.  The reason these behaviors begin is that we lack a sense of meaning; Jesus said it best when he said he came to save the lost sheep.

I understand that the nature of sin may be involved, but we can't just tell someone to quit sinning so that they can find a sense of meaning.  Jesus said, come to me and I will give you rest, he did not say quit sinning and I will give your rest.

Sin may lead us to make poor choices but being lost and feeling worthless and meaningless happened through a process of decisions or substance use.  It will take a process of understanding the love of God and his valuation of us as priceless that begins to give us a sense of meaning and purpose.  (2 Corinthians 7:6) But God encourages those who are troubled.

I think I’m going to make a small series of teachings about finding meaning, value, and purpose in our life, regardless of the age bracket we currently find ourselves.

 

Joseph, 

   Yes, family history plays a huge role in presenting problems in my opinion. Working with young children this past year has convinced me more than ever, that families are dysfunctional together and also heal together. I used to attend a recovery group (Celebrate Recovery) for myself, but mainly to learn what drove people to addictions of all types. I didn't keep records but I would guess 80-95% of the people there had family issues growing up.
The only drawback I can see from doing something like a Genogram would be initial discouragement. That's not really bad as long as the person recovers and sees the genogram as something positive and an instrument to learn how to break family patterns of abuse etc.

Social Issues Today: Reducing or Ending School Shootings; My Thoughts

(I wrote this in March of 2018, but the ideas are still valid)
If you're tired of seeing these school shootings happen, the answer is not to fight against the second amendment, but to fight for practical and philosophical changes at school campuses and in society as a whole.  There are a few answers to this issue, some practical and immediate some philosophical.  I doubt this is exhaustive, but they are practical, and worth consideration in the public debate.
Some immediate and practical solutions.
• Put more armed guards at schools, one at every entry/exit in schools.
• Put gated fences around the perimeter around the main buildings as the first deterrent.
• Give everyone that needs to be in the school a key card to access the gated fence and the building. Students, teachers, guards, etc.        
• Every student that graduates or has been suspended, their key card is automatically deactivated.
• Teachers should attend mandatory self-defense classes that specifically teach how to disarm someone if in their judgment they can do so safely.·        
• The Federal, State, and local Government agencies need to fund school security and impose a school security tax and corporations and allowing them to write it off as a gift or investment.
• Parenting Classes emphasizing Attachment Styles.   
• Male Mentoring programs for young men.        
• Re-institute Apprenticeship programs for young men at school teaching them woodworking, mechanics, construction, and other job-related skills.  Additionally, give them college credits for the classes and partner with companies to give them a paying intern job while in school.
• Teach the young men how to manage their money from the apprenticeship program.  Make monetary management a requisite to graduation.
Philosophically
There has been an inexplicable movement by some states to create children or teen rights.  In California children as young as 13 can refuse counseling and medical treatment; all without parental assents or consent.  What that means is that the state has taken the illogical position that a child, whose brain and worldview has not even fully developed, are capable of making rational decisions that will benefit themselves and society.  Sometimes they may, sometimes they may not because they are still developing cognitively. For God’s sake, that's what teachers, mentors, and parents are for, and when the state takes that power of influence away from the adults then the state is going to create pathological children and adults who feel they are entitled to have their way and if they don't get what they want then they become resentful towards society and, at the extremes, either kill someone or themselves. These movements seem to be born of social constructs that have absolutely zero empirical evidence of viability and social benefit.  We need a return to sound moral and ethical judgments by all the caregivers of the child.
It seems the moral relativism has taken over society so that some educators have unwittingly become part of the problem.  I'm sure they didn't' do it on purpose and their Utopian vision seemed good at the time, However, when there are implied or direct philosophical instructions that a everyone has a right to their choices without any consideration to the effects upon society for those choices, that's when all hell breaks loose in society. That is exactly where we are at today.  Consequently, educators need to take some level of responsibility for creating the social chaos that is abounding in America.
I'm a graduate student in professional counseling, and as a consequence of my studies, I have come to the conclusion that my own profession needs to take some responsibility for some of the illogical theories that are being promulgated as essential to human growth and development. It would take more space than a Facebook comment box to dwell on that issue, but the overly restrictive values system of the ACA seems to be more of a deterrent than benefit to helping unstable individuals develop values that are beneficial to society. For instance, James Holmes, the Colorado theater killer, could have been stopped if his school counselor would have placed him on the 72-hour psychiatric watch list that his college had in place.  Why was that not done? 
I don't know for sure, and this is just speculation, but it may have had something to do with the archaic and outdated stance of the ACA on client confidentiality and not imposing values upon a client.  The counseling and psychiatric community need to come to grips with the fact that we are educators also and need to take responsibility to protect society as well as the individual.  I shudder to think that Cruz was seen by the school counselor, diagnosed as unstable, and then protected because of client confidentiality or values imposition conflicts.