There is an old nursery rhyme many of us heard in childhood: “What are little boys made of? Slugs and snails and puppy-dogs' tails... But what are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and everything nice.”
While this sentiment is nostalgic, it is theologically incomplete. From a biblical perspective, innocence is not determined by gender. Scripture is clear that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). History and daily life confirm that humanity—men and women alike—struggles with a nature prone to error and brokenness. We are all in need of redemption.
Over the last year, my research into relational trauma has illuminated a painful reality: both men and women experience profound levels of verbal and sexual trauma. As I began working with clients navigating these deep waters, I discovered that verbal and sexual trauma are often inextricably linked, culminating in a wound known clinically as moral injury.
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Man was destined for society. His morality, therefore, was to be formed to this object. He was endowed with a sense of right and wrong merely relative to this. This sense is as much a part of his nature as the sense of hearing, seeing, feeling; it is the true foundation of morality.… The moral sense, or conscience, is as much a part of man as his leg or arm. It is given to all human beings in a stronger or weaker degree, as the force of members is given to them in a greater or lesser degree. It may be strengthened by exercise, as may any particular limb of the body.
(THOMAS JEFFERSON, 1787)
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The Innate Moral Code and the Imago Dei (Image of God )
To understand the depth of this injury, we must understand how we are created. Research from the Yale Baby Lab suggests that human beings are not blank slates; rather, infants possess an innate "moral sense," demonstrating a rudimentary ability to distinguish between helpful and hindering behaviors and showing a preference for compassion (Bloom, 2013).
This scientific finding aligns seamlessly with biblical truth. Psalm 139 declares that God formed our "inward parts" in the womb (Psalm 139:13). In the Hebrew text, "inward parts" refers to the seat of our intellect, emotions, and moral constitution. Every child enters this world bearing the Imago Dei—the image of God—imprinted with a sense of worth, dignity, and a moral compass.
The Anatomy of Moral Injury
When a child—or an adult—is subjected to verbal or sexual trauma, that divine imprint is assaulted. Abuse causes the victim to question their fundamental value as a human being. Sexual trauma, including early exposure to pornography, can be particularly devastating, often leading to dissociation. This is a defense mechanism where one detaches from their "authentic self"—the moral and spiritual core God created—to survive the pain (Litz et al., 2009). The result is a fractured identity. The person no longer feels like God's beloved creation but rather an object of shame.
The Pathway to Restoration
For the Christian, the journey toward wholeness involves integrating professional therapeutic modalities with the transformative promises of Scripture. The good news is that healing from verbal and sexual abuse is entirely possible. However, we must offer a pastoral caveat: there is no standardized timeline for this process. While some may experience rapid breakthroughs, for many, restoration is a pilgrimage of months or years.
Because healing is a journey, the wounded soul requires a spiritual community that balances two essential elements: unconditional, non-judgmental acceptance and compassionate, gentle accountability.
Discernment in Community
Finding a safe spiritual home is critical. One must be discerning, as extreme environments can cause further harm:
Avoid Legalism: If a community emphasizes performance, rigid obedience, and unwavering allegiance to human leadership over the healing of the heart, it is an unsafe environment. Such dynamics often mirror the patterns of verbal abuse and shame, leading to retraumatization and a reactivation of feelings of worthlessness.
Avoid Theological Compromise: Conversely, one must be wary of communities that have abandoned biblical truth for cultural accommodation, particularly regarding sexual ethics. While these environments may initially feel "loving" due to their permissiveness, they can cause moral confusion. A church that validates behaviors contrary to God's design can reactivate moral injury, causing the survivor to question their standing as a child of God.
The False Refuge: Trauma and Addiction
When the authentic self is shattered by moral injury and the pain of dissociation becomes too great to bear, the human soul instinctively seeks relief and safety. It is in this dark valley that many find themselves ensnared by addiction. It is crucial to understand that, in the context of trauma, addiction is not merely a "bad habit" or a lack of willpower; it is often a desperate, survival-based coping mechanism (Maté, 2010).
When a person feels severed from their God-given identity—feeling worthless, dirty, or abandoned due to verbal or sexual trauma—substances or compulsive behaviors serve as an anesthetic. They temporarily silence the screaming of the moral injury. The addiction fills the void where the sense of self used to be.
However, God’s desire is not just for sobriety (the absence of the substance), but for recovery (the restoration of the person). God understands that the addiction was a misguided attempt to handle pain that no human should have to carry alone. The love of God seeks to penetrate past the coping mechanism to heal the wound underneath. Scripture promises that "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corinthians 3:17).
God’s love heals the moral injury, slowly rebuilding the sense of worth that was stolen. As the believer begins to internalize their identity as a beloved child, the need for the chemical or behavioral anesthetic diminishes. The "false comforter" of addiction is replaced by the true Comforter, the Holy Spirit, who restores us to our right mind and our true self.
Conclusion: Anchored in the Father’s Love
Ultimately, the healing of the heart begins and ends in the love of God. His love is not merely a sentiment; it is a restoring force that reconciles us to Him through Jesus Christ. God desires to reintegrate your fragmented self, restoring the moral essence He knit together in the womb.
As the Apostle John wrote, "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3:1). God’s love heals the dissociation, reminding us that we are not defined by what was done to us, but by who we are in Him. When we are healed from moral injury, the fear of authenticity vanishes. We are free to live as "lights of the world" (Matthew 5:14), fully present, fully loved, and fully restored.
In-Text Scripture List
Romans
3:23 – "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory
of God."
Psalm
139:13 – "For you created my inmost being; you knit me
together in my mother’s womb."
2
Corinthians 3:17 – "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where
the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."
1
John 3:1 – "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we
are!"
Matthew
5:14 – "You are the light of the world. A town built on a
hill cannot be hidden."
Romans
2:15 – “They show that the work of the law is written on
their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their
conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them.”
Romans 3:23 – "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
Psalm 139:13 – "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb."
2 Corinthians 3:17 – "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."
1 John 3:1 – "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"
Matthew 5:14 – "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden."
Romans 2:15 – “They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them.”
References (APA 7)
Bloom, P. (2013). Just babies: The origins of good and evil. Crown.
Litz, B. T., Stein, N., Delaney, E., Lebowitz, L., Nash, W. P., Silva, C., & Maguen, S. (2009). Moral injury and moral repair in war veterans: A preliminary model and intervention strategy. Clinical Psychology Review, 29(8), 695–706. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2009.07.003
Maté, G. (2010). In the realm of hungry ghosts: Close encounters with addiction. North Atlantic Books.
Biblical References (APA 7)
King James Version. (2017). Cambridge University Press. (Original work published 1769)
New International Version. (2011). Zondervan. (Original work published 1978)
English Standard Version Bible. (2001). Crossway Bibles.
Dan Dickerson © 2025
