From Trauma to Glory

I never share much about my past drug use or alcohol use. When I first got saved, I really never did have a desire to do so because I was ashamed of my previous life. I never saw how my story could glorify Christ. I abused my wife, abused my brother, abused my family, and abused myself. I really had a lot of self-hatred and really didn't want to live. One day, I chewed up around 30 pills, I think they were Valium. My friend Beaner actually convinced me to spit them out. A few minutes before that, I humiliated my ex-wife, abused her verbally, and accused her of sleeping with Richard Nixon. Please don't ask me why Richard Nixon, because he wasn't even president! But it just goes to show how trauma in your life, combined with alcohol and drug use, can cause a person to behave not just in erratic ways, but in dangerous and abusive ways. I don't even know why my ex-wife stayed with me as long as she did. It was so bad that one day she got a 22 pistol and put it to my head when I was in a passed-out stupor. The only thing that saved me and her was that she told herself, "He's not worth going to prison over." She was absolutely right. That woman was an angel, and I was the devil. That's just one little chapter of my life story, and thank God the Lord saved me and delivered me. I don't know if it's ironic or not, but my ex-wife actually was instrumental in my coming to the Lord. She gave her life to Christ, and by this time, we were living in Alabama. While I was reading the paper, she would play Elvis Presley Gospel music in the house. Unknownst to her, the Holy Spirit was using that to speak to me. I think she also played Jimmy Swaggart's gospel music. There's more to the story, but only this: probably about a month later, I gave my life to Christ while she was in Arizona looking for work. While she was gone, I had a dream in which the Holy Spirit led me to Christ. Then I called her and said that I had given my life to Jesus and I was coming to Arizona to be a pastor. Didn't become a pastor for reasons I'll share later, but I did become a professional counselor. And now I help others quit drugs and heal from their trauma. God is good! The last I heard, she had married a good man who treats her well, and she deserves that. As for me? While I did have a miraculous deliverance from drugs, alcohol, and smoking, I spent a good 25 years trying to find some healing and relief from my PTSD. While I have received much healing, there's still more that needs to be done. And I trust entirely in Christ to finish his work in me and be glorified in me and through me.