As a counselor who has studied scripture, psychology, the brain, and the way personality and human identity are formed, I have learned that you cannot separate a person's core behavior and identity into isolated compartments. For many individuals, their sexual identity is deeply woven into who they are (This includes straight people who have had multiple relationships/partners). Here is how I have learned to communicate God's love towards all of broken humanity. And that is a key; frame it as their sexual identity has been broken (typically by some type of trauma) and needs restored.
1. The Problem with "Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin":
When people say "God loves the sinner, but hates the sin" in reference to the LGBTQ+ community, (or any demographic) it often creates a deep barrier. Because identity and behavior are so closely intertwined, telling someone God hates their behavior feels to them like hearing God hates them.
2. Lead with Unconditional Love First:
Do not qualify God's love with immediate caveats or disclaimers. Scripture teaches that it is the kindness and mercy of God that leads people to repentance (Romans 2:4), not harsh religious qualifiers. God loves humanity in our brokenness.
3. Embrace Like the Prodigal Father:
When anyone turns toward God, the Father doesn't demand a behavioral audit before embracing them—He runs to meet them, puts a robe on their back, and welcomes them home (Luke 15).
4. Avoid Religious Self-Righteousness:
Every human falls short, and all sin separates us from God. Harboring attitudes that view certain groups as uniquely beyond grace—while ignoring sins like gossip or judgment—blocks people from experiencing the true power of the Gospel.
5. The Core Message:
Encourage pastors to simply teach that God loves humanity, meets us where we are, and reconciles us to Him through Christ. Lead with open arms and radical grace rather than shame.
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